I'm sorry/ You're welcome

Dear Sloane,

I'm so sorry.  I'm so sorry that in a few short days your whole world will be rocked.  You have no idea what's coming.  You love to play in the nursery.  You love to talk to "sissy".  You press your lips to my belly and say, "Hi, sissy.  I yuv you."  It is the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed.  You stand outside the door to her room and say, "shhh, sissy's sleeping."  You love on your baby dolls and take such good care of them.  You make me so happy and proud.  But then the guilt that I have been pushing aside for the last few months creeps back.  I never expected to feel this way.  I couldn't have imagined how bad I would sometimes feel about having another baby.  But you have been the center of our universe for almost two years.  Every kid with a younger sibling goes through it and not all are in therapy 20 years later so I know you will make it through the next few months.  But I don't expect it always be an easy ride.  Doesn't matter, I'm still sorry.

You are welcome.  You are about to get the greatest gift there is - a sibling.  And not some stinky brother, but a sweet (hopefully) little sister who will watch your every move and want to be just like you.  As big sister you will have full capability to boss her around, to make her play whatever games you want to play, to force her be the daddy when playing pretend so you can hog the coveted role of mommy, etc.  You can dress her in ridiculous outfits.  You can sneak her your vegetables when you don't want to eat them. The list goes on and on.   I never had a sister and I'm so glad we can give that gift to you.  You'll have a built in best friend, confidant, playmate, and buddy.  She will watch your every move and think that you hang the moon and the stars.

It just doesn't seem that long ago that we were preparing for your arrival.  Excited to hold you, smell you, hear your cries and giggles.  Having you rocked our world and fundamentally changed the people that your dad and I are.  Before you we were two wild and crazy and selfish kids ourselves.  We're now semi-grown up and through lots of trials and tribulations getting the hang of this whole business of raising little people.  Thank you for your patience with us.

Though there is no perfect way to prepare your child for a sibling, there are lots of signs that you are ready....

There are always a baby doll or stuffed animal in your sister's crib and co-sleeper.

Your choice of reading materials has changed.  Out of all the books on the bookshelf, "Caring for your baby and young child" suddenly became your go to choice.

This friend has had a permanent place in the carseat since we pulled it out of the attic.  You've also spent a significant amount of time sitting in the double stroller in our living room talking to "sissy" the last two nights.